Goodbye Blogger

Dear Readers,

I have decided to change my blogging environment to "wordpress" due to many of it's features that I find appealing, therefore I would appreciate it that you will change my blog link to

http://theundeniablebeauty.wordpress.com/

Thanks.

Regards from the Undeniable Beauty.

Forget...Don't Forget...

Forget about those cloudy days,
But don't forget the hours spent in the sun;

Forget the times you were defeated,
But don't forget the lessons you've learnt;

Forget the misfortunes you've encountered,
But don't forget the times you luck has turned;

Forget about past broken loves,
But don't forget the ones that loved you tenderly today;

Forget things that haven't been going your way,
But don't forget the victories you've earned;

Forget the mistakes that cannot be undone,
But don't forget what joy life has in store for you.

Forget and let live is what we usually try to go for, but forgetting isn't everything, there are still times where remembering is everything...

A Week In The Life of..."Me" [2]

Day 2 - Tuesday

Tuesday, a day where you never need to rush, for life classes only starts at 11pm. You wake up before your alarm goes off at 9.30am. You mentally note that you're waking earlier and earlier these days due to the fact that every other mornings have had you glaring at the alarm clock to wake up at 6.30am but miraculously, without any urges from your alarm clock, you have been waking up at an early hour. A good day indeed.

You get up and walk towards the computer instinctively, dreading the "critical errors" that would come popping out of nowhere to scream at you telling you to "GET LOST!!!" but you ignored it anyways and switched it on. And as expected, the errors appeared in a whole sequence of irritable boxes that requires you to press "OK" before you could proceed to do anything at all...you irritably gave up and just switches it off.

Then you think "hmm, even if I weren't able to go online, I could still watch some anime now!" and you proceeded to do that without any irritating error boxes.

At 10pm you start rushing again, you'll need to get ready now, you hurriedly took a warm bath and changed into your daily wear and had a light lunch and started out the door, you made sure that the dog was in the house before you stepped out the door and walked in a leisurely pace off to University. You arrived to University without any incidents but when you put a foot into the foyer of the University block where you were to have your classes, you were greeted by a friend commenting on your lateness, you froze as you heard those words and think "WTF?!?! OMG?! I'm late?!?" but was told it was a joke =.= you gave her a somewhat cold laugh and rushed to class to find that you still have about 10 minutes before the class really starts.

You gave a sigh as you sat down for a long day of more boring lectures and tutorials when lo and behold, the source of your entertainment has arrived! AWESOME!! She takes her place beside you with an audible sigh and asked me "You know what happened today?" "No" "My mother called me this morning around 9 something and talked to me for about an hour and a half" "eh? why?" and the conversation ended abruptly as my other slaves friends were asking her about assignments and stuff.

Other than not able to hear what she was about to tell you, yet, you receive a somewhat shocking yet somewhat predictable news from your Social Psychology lecturer that due to the fact that C had written your group's name at the top of the list, your group will be starting your presentation that you all haven't started on Saturday!! All five of you give a somewhat distressed sigh and blame C for all the inconvenience!! "~!@#$%^&*()_+!!"

On a lighter note, you found out that A's mother who called her, objected of her going out with B and does not want her to be with B at all. It seems it was because B wasn't educated enough, and nor was he a University student, therefore deemed unfit for her. It really is quite awkward as you sit there with A and your other 2 friends, talking about A and B and A's conflicts in front of C who, unfortunately, is in the same assignment group as all four of you.

It was such an awkward moment, you weren't sure whether to kick his ass pity him and stop or just continue. You would have personally chosen to kick his ass and curse his WONDERFUL timing in announcing his UNDYING LOVE for A. But seeing as he didn't mind all of you talking about B much, (he even gave us his PERSONAL opinion on how to get rid of her problems, like, seriously!! =.=) therefore, you all decided to continue talking about A and B and to hell with C. Not that you would ever stop talking about A and B in front of him anyways!

After that, all five of you went back to class again for lectures and tutorials. The continuation of a boring day indeed -sighs-

(to be continued...)

A Week In The Life of..."Me" [1]

Ever wondered what it's like to be in my shoes for a day? Or a week? Well here's your chance to find out what's it like to be in my shoes a week...

Day 1 - Monday
You wake up to the alarm clock ringing "BRRRRRRRRRRRING!!" you glare irritatedly and groggily at the alarm clock cursing at the late hour showing you that it's 7.10am when you've got only 20 minutes left to prepare for class which begins at 8am. You sit up in bed and hold your aching head from the lack of sleep due to the fact that you were up till 2am that morning watching some anime you haven't watched after you have done downloading it studying.

You contemplate whether to ask your parents to drop you off at University cause you were too lazy to walk there yourself your leg was aching as well as due to the fact that you just thought of that reason up some unknown reason. And then you look at the alarm clock again and curses a string of curses "~!@#$%^&*()_+" it's now 7.15am, you were not only loosing precious time sitting and thinking up stupid illnesses but also cause your parents will be leaving in 5 minutes. You decide to skip the reason and just walk later and rushes off to the bathroom, bathing, brushing your teeth, changing into your clothes, getting your hair to behave, organizing your notes, filling up your water bottle and wearing your shoes.

You glare at your watch this time with enough ferocity that it might just actually melt from your gaze alone, it's now 7.40am, you start your journey to University by walking out the house door and surprise, surprise! The dog, who was just too stupid affectionate, comes bounding towards you, you stare at it horrifically, as if in a slow motion movie, you saw her coming towards you, you tried to use a classic Matrix move to try and dodge her attack but unfortunately, you realized too late that the dog, wasn't actually a bullet but a 20+kg German Shepherd...-sighs- you look down at your shirt and what do you see there? An enormous paw print on your clean shirt! You rush back and put on a clean shirt and this time you made it out safely thank gawd =.= ...

Ahh, damn it, it's 7.50am now, you really had got to rush now, you'll need at least 15 minutes to University at a slow pace, so you moved faster, practically sprinting, dodging cars left right and center, you safely reached the extremely boring-slash-idiotic-slash-moronic-slash-air-conless-slash-so-called- education-facility... you curse the day you wanted a cheaper University and rushed to class...

Reaching your destination, you find that even the lecturer was late and gave out a sigh of relief and settled down for another boring day of lectures. But you remember, today is NOT an ordinary day at all!! It's the day you look at one of your classmate and laugh sympathize at the shared "secret" that she had confided to you in "good faith". You also found out that apparently, your mother has decided not to provide you any money to buy your desired handphone!! "Grrrr" you weren't a very pleased person that day but oh well, at least you had another thing to depend your emotion on...

You find a place with your slaves friends, sitting between A and C to put a distance between A and C, seeing as how A likes B and B likes A, C likes A too but A has rejected C and has told C that he doesn't have a chance because A likes B, in other words..."Get lost!" And the funny thing you found was, A had in fact told A's parents about B's existence and A had a date with B today with B's friends B1 and B2 the banana brothers friends. So the idea of doing the assignment (the one that you had to present on the 6th day of your week in the life of "Me") had to be postponed for today.

The day continued on without a hitch, other than falling asleep momentarily in class due to the droning of the lecturer's voice, and the fact that your friend, A, who was as drowsy as you felt reluctant to go on her date with B since his banana brothers friends wanted to go bowling (which, A was really bad in, having a average 36 as her score and only 1 strike to be proud of) and they had planned to go to not 1 but 3 shopping malls, all this in a day and just to shop for B's new year clothing...

Eventually, you all came up with an indigenous plan to follow her to Mid-Valley and then pretend to "bump" into her and B as well as B's banana brothers friends and say "Omg A! It's been a while since we saw you!! (Approximately an hour ago) Let's go shopping together!!" and inconspicuously kidnap rescue her from the 3 bananas guys. And that would have been perfect too if only we didn't discard that mission D:

At the end of the lecture, you walk in a snail's pace back to your house, tired and hot, you slumped onto the cooling floor and almost fell asleep when you received a call from A, apparently, her mom, who found out about her date, had demanded that she NOT go on the date with B and went ahead and called B (seeing as how A had given her mom B's number over the weekend) and had probably given him he lashing of his miserable life. With this, you tried to go online so you can find out more on what's happening just to find that your computer refuses to cooperate with you thus giving you many "critical errors" error boxes...

You figured that the comp is dying, therefore you gave one last chat with your boyfriend, telling him of this tragedy and mentioning to him of your love for him as well as telling him to be careful when you're not around and that you'll be missing him a whole lot...

With that, you switched off the computer and head to bed, thus ending your somewhat boring yet dramatic day...ahh, what a day...now you'll just need to get through 6 more days...

(to be continued...)

Signature of the Week [3]

Name of Signature
No name...

Phrase
Jessica - I May Look Good, But Inside, I'm Not...

Inspiration
Just recently I just finished watching "Elfen Lied" the anime and it's an AWESOME anime, I'd recommend that all of you watch it, but be warned though, if you can't stand the sight of gore and nudity, then PLEASE! Do not attempt to watch it at all...

Directed at who?
No one at all, I just happened to come across two pictures of Lucy, her innocent and killer side so I just thought I should make this...

Amount of time to make it?
About a day, comp had some serious problems D:.

Anything else?
Nothing really... other than go and watch "Elfen Lied" it's really nice =D

What if...

Have you ever thought of how life would have been like if you have done what you didn't do or regretted that you had made that certain choice in life but knew you shouldn't have? Is life going the way you want it to be now?

These are the typical questions we find ourselves asking daily, judging our past performances and future ones that have yet been made. We constantly judge ourselves for what we did or didn't do and then suffer in doubt of what should have been and should not have been...you have always been dealt a bad hand in life, from making tiny mistakes that makes you a tougher person to making the right choices that makes you a worse person and vice versa.

I know I don't make a lot of sense now but if you read closely and reanalyze it, you'll find that you'll know what I mean in my confusing twisted words...

I may not know a lot of things in life, but I do know this, we are the ones who determine how our life will turn out, which are the right choices for us and how we will live by it. It's your own choice that you have made THAT decision, your own will to do it even though you assumed it isn't because you had some advise from your friends. But think about it...although you might have seek counsel and advice from your family, peers, and higher authorities and you know deep down you are blaming them as well for making you make that decision, but in the end, you're the one who is making that choice, so who are you to blame others for what you have done, hmm?

All in all, you are the one who decides what your fate would be, how you will end up in life, be it good or bad, that's how it is...after looking at my point of view, I can say that, life isn't so bad after all...it's my choice whether I live my whole life in misery, regretting at the things that I could have had but didn't or live my life satisfyingly knowing that I have what I have now and that's just fine with me...that's because it was MY choice and no one elses...

I can say that I am grateful for a lot of things. My family may not be the best in the world, but they are loving and caring enough for me to know that I love them too. I may not have a boyfriend who is close to me now and is on the other side of the world, but I am grateful that he IS there for me, cheering me on, comforting me, always there for me and is willing to do anything for me. I may not have the most normal bunch of friends in the world, in fact, they're just downright freaky and insane, but I am too, and I am glad to have called them my friends. I may not have the riches of the world or have ruled the world, but I already have all I need to live a modest life...all in all, I am a happy person with a good life.

Signature of the Week [2]

Name of Signature
No name...

Phrase
Jessica

Inspiration
Nothing really, I just seem to have gotten this font form dafont and it looks really nice so I went in search of a really gothic render and made a signature out of it. I love the outcome too. It's my best work yet I think =3

Directed at who?
No one at all, cause it's MY signature =P

Amount of time to make it?
About an hour.

Anything else?
Yes, if your comp is frozen, you might not see it, but the words on this signature actually has a shine effect. A nice photoshoppin' skill that I prefer more often than most cause it's easy and it looks really cool ^^

First Day Back

Well it's the first day of my Year 1 Semester 2 in UTAR today, and I can honestly say that it was boring as hell. When I got into the lecture class, the first thing I commented was, how hot the room was and wondered if UTAR had another budget cut and decided we didn't need to have any air conditioning seeing as how we're students and deserve inhuman treatment -waves an angry fist-

And then, the next thing I noticed was, the facilities seem to have worsen. There wasn't even any microphone available for the "soft-toned" lecturer (more like, she can't speak up at all o_O) so we all had to stretch our ears to be able to hear her...pitiful...

Later, after the 45 minute class was over which was suppose to end after 1 and a half hours, we decided to go to the library, and guess what?!?! The library went "POOF" and relocated itself past the oily mamak area. Upon going in, we realized where the budget money went...into improving the air conditioning for the library, which was, even before moving, working better than any lecture rooms and tutorial rooms!! -Glares-

So fine, we hang out at the library, joking, talking and pouring over reference books, as we wanted to leave, we already had a few books at hand and wanted to check them out, lo and behold! The library's computer system is down!!! "~!@#$%^&*()_+" So in the end we had to reserve our books...

Back at UTAR, after 2 hours at the library, we went to our pitiful lil cafeteria for a bite, it looked the same as it did before when we were in our 1st semester, nothing special there...the most infuriating time of the day was MOST probably during the Bahasa Kebangsaan (A) subject, the class was PACKED!!! Imagine an arena swimming pool on a public holiday, and it was full to the brim where it was difficult even to MOVE in the pool of people where the people can't seem to stop coming at all ToT!!

Not only was the place full to the brim, the lecturer was a TINY person, and although she has a military way of speaking, we just can't seem to understand her at all, so therefore, it was a pleasure to see her get pissed off at us on the first day itself!!! XD

The only good thing I find happened today was of course, the fact that we could get an exemption for Bahasa Kebangsaan (A), because truly, I have no desire whatsoever to be stuck in a overly packed, stuffy, noisy (worse than the pasar malam during their busiest) and to be truthful, unwanted subject, EVER!

And that's how my day went. Boring as hell. -END-

Social Conformity

Forgive and forget? Or is it forget and forgive now? When someone does something bad, would you willingly forgive them and forget the whole incident ever happened? Or would you alienate that person and pretend you never knew them? To an extend that "By forgetting we were ever connected, I'll forgive you in time" is the main saying behind the motto...

I believe that people nowadays are more critically judged than it was before in our parents time, where life was harsh and you were born to be an honest, modest person as well as a forgiving person. With no particularly high expectations other than wanting to have a peaceful and joyous life for your family and friends.

However, now in life, people are judged daily by what others say about another person, or yourself, in any case. For example, is it wrong for someone to pour drinks down your front accidentally without any ill intentions and in front of a crowd? A social crowd which expects nothing less from you? Yes, the person was wrong for pouring drinks on you. But you go over the top as to scream at that poor guy who did it and in a loud voice, you say "Fuck!! What the hell did you DO?!?!? Look at my beautiful dress!!! Get out of my sight!! I never want to see hide nor hair from you again unless it's the compensation for my ruined clothes!!" and you huff off to the washroom to try and undo the damage.

In another scenario, if you were with a crowd that judges you for how you treat others, the scenario would probably be the opposite of what it was, it'll probably go like this "Omg, are you okay?" you hold the person by their arm with a worried look on your face, worried that the person might have hurt themselves "Psh, it's just a dress, nothing to worry about, it's not that valuable anyway, just $xxxx is all" thus you be woe your dress it's worth and tries to reassure the person that it was no problem, gaining applause from your kindness towards someone who have ruined your expensive new dress.

But in the presence of friends or family, whom you have known and have known them longer than you have known yourself, the scenario, would yet again be somewhat different. You'll probably be too infuriated to say anything but slap the person right on their cheeks and demand for compensation and promptly give them the glare and the view of your back.

Is this what society has brought upon us? Social awareness on a different level? Being pricks to all who are around us depending on who we're seen with? Are we THAT vain as to lower ourselves to please the social crowd? -sighs- Conformity would, one day, be the death of us...wouldn't you say so?

Patriotism? I think not...

Life as we know it, seems fruitful to all the newer generation as more job opportunities pops up left, right and center, so says the government. But is it really true? If it is, why are the government encouraging fresh graduates to go for jobs they never picked for in the beginning? Why are fresh graduates considered as "social drop outs" as soon as they leave the sanctuary of the studious world called a "learning sanctuary" which the government have named "the educational system"? Is it because their demands for the "dream job" is just that? A dream job? Unobtainable and unimaginable? Bullshit!

Just recently, this morning actually, I was listening to the radio and usually morning programs, they talk about certain issues that are plaguing the world and making life miserable. So, today, after commenting to my cousin about how interesting it was that people could find fault in just about anything in the world today, especially the government. Upon hearing my comments, she went off to her room and came back out with a CD where she burned all the precious radio talks on crappy politics the latest issues and stuff. I took it with gratitude and came home to give it a listen.

There was one particular topic on how graduates these days aren't able to get any jobs, therefore are "social drop outs" to most of the social world. "No job, no talk, no money, no honey" was what a China man once told me when I was touring in Shanghai, but that's another story altogether. Basically, what he meant was, to be successful in this world, you'll need a job to be credible for anything at all, bank loans, high connections, friends and even a girlfriend! Without a job, you'll have no money, without money, you can't get anything at all, not even to maintain your own livelihood, let alone a girlfriend.

So back to the CD on radio talks. The DJ was mentioning something about how, fresh graduates nowadays are being encouraged by the government to do more stable jobs like working for "Indah Water", "MPPJ" and so on. Or as teachers, lecturers, laborers and so on. Jobs that these fresh graduates did NOT train themselves in high class colleges and universities for! I understand if the government is saying that they need more LOCAL people doing these jobs seeing as how the amount of foreigners have increased over the past few years. But what troubles me is that the government is encouraging foreigners to come in and take the jobs WE have trained ourselves for. Do the government have not enough faith in us, the Malaysians? I guess not, seeing as how Malaysians themselves have no faith in their own country and the educational system.

So now, the radio talk gets heated in between song breaks. People were arguing that, "Yes, the government is encouraging Malaysians to work FOR their country but the chances of ever getting the jobs they want are low, especially if you're not a Malay OR a foreigner, because seeing as how this is a Malay country, Malays have the distinct advantage over all the other races. And even IF you're a Malay, the chances of getting the job is still at a low because they prefer a MORE professional person to handle the job, in short, a foreigner."

-Please note, I am NOT discriminating here, I'm just quoting what I've heard.-

Another person mentioned that "Even if our Malaysian fresh graduates were able to land their dream job here, the possibility of them wanting to make it in the first world countries are high, therefore, the government has NO choice but to hire an outsider to do the job a Malaysian could have done but won't, due to the low pay."

After hearing this fascinating radio argument, I would like to ask all you readers. Are you a patriot when it comes to your own country? Willing to sell your soul hold and to cherish, to defend and to love, to live and to die for your country? To stay as loyal as you can be? To uphold and defend the nation's pride and glory?

How many of you out there can honestly say that you don't want to work anywhere outside of Malaysia? Or instead of having a dream house somewhere in Hawaii or Miami or Australia, you'd rather have it in Malaysia? That you're satisfied with what Malaysia has to offer you? Can you really, truly say "Malaysia Boleh!!" without having any doubts in your heart? Even if it's a little? I thought not...

I can honestly say that Malaysia is my home, the place I was born, the land that I crawled, stumbled, walked, jogged, ran on. There will be no other place that I was glad I was brought up upon because I have no memories of war, violence and killing living here, where I was brought up.

But I can also honestly say that I would prefer to have my dream house in Perth, Australia, where the weather isn't as insanely hot all year round like in Malaysia. No outrageously long traffic jams that takes HOURS to clear up especially during the morning and "after office hours". No traffic violators that U-Turns at a "strictly no U-Turn" turning. No going to the public toilets and finding it disgustingly gross and uncleaned. No need to worry about putting up a fence around your house to keep what's outside, outside. I could just go on and on, but I wouldn't dream to bore you, so just use your imagination...

And before you flame me about "How do YOU know it's going to be so freaking awesome in Perth?!?!" I've been to Perth, thank you very much. I went there twice, the 1st time I went there 2 weeks for a vacation, the 2nd time I went there about a month for a "business trip" my mom had there for her job. And I absolutely loved it <3!!!